I just had the most wonderful conversation with my favorite BBoy after dinner. I had dinner with his friends again and afterwards, we walked back to my dorm together and we just sat outside on the quad, in nature, under the moon, and just talked about our lives. We talked about how glad we were that we crossed paths again some three years after not talking. That's insane. I don't know what to do with myself. I know I promised myself that I won't looking to have a relationship my first year in college, but I guess I can't seem to help it. I think he's just so attractive. And so passionate. About life. And Jesus. Dance. Art. He said some things that I would definitely say, in the context of my own art.
I don't know. I don't know what to do! He's just incredible. Incroyable. It's like he embodies some of the most admirable qualities that I find in people. But I don't put him on a pedestal like the other men I've developed feelings for. It's like I take in his good qualities and flaws all the same time and actually made him human in my mind.
What am I saying.
I just want to know all about him, you know? There aren't a lot of people out there who I feel that way about. And he asks all the right questions. I wish I had more time with him.
I'm nervous that he'll find me undesirable after a few more conversations. I'm afraid that he'll find my opinion of my own religion insulting or weird. I'm afraid that he'll judge me when he finds about what happened with Happy. I'm afraid that he might not like my lifestyle. I'm afraid that I'll have to censor myself around him because I think he won't like it.
He reads the Bible.
Gosh, I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now. What am I doing. What am I doing.